lifestyle Insight

How aware and in control are you of your own train of thoughts when interacting with your spouse? The quality and nature of your thoughts have a huge impact on your general mood and the emotions that you feel toward your spouse or significant other. While it is true that we are free to think of whatever we like in the privacy of our minds, it also follows that we have to be aware and responsible for the effects of our thoughts in the real world. Our thoughts do not have to be expressed verbally in order to make an impact on reality and on other people (e.g. your spouse.) Your thoughts and emotions have the capacity to influence, even in small ways, your actions and your unique decision-making processes even if you make a conscious decision to never express them. What’s causing all the trouble? The thoughts that cause the most damage in married life are the deeply-embedded, subconscious thoughts that influence your waking consciousness. These thoughts lie be...

How can you make communication work again in your marriage? It’s no secret that married life can become a true test of a person’s character. At certain points in married life, every fiber of your character can be strained to the point that you may feel like being impatient or even aggressive with your spouse. Is it normal to feel this way? Let me be the first person to tell you that such experiences are normal and are to be expected in a relationship that requires two people to live together every single day. It’s normal to feel impatient or angry at times when some things just don’t work out. However, what’s not normal is using words to attack or undermine your spouse to the point that you feel like you need to dominate your spouse and “win”. What’s the “tipping point” that you should be wary about? When you reach a point where you view your spouse as an enemy, I’d like you to immediately stop and take a step back to review what has happened so far to you...

How can you talk and actually communicate with your spouse so you can convey your thoughts, needs and emotions across effectively? One of the biggest and most complicated problems that troubled couples face is the inability to genuinely communicate  with each other. I call this growing trend “damaged communication” because 99% of the time, attempts at communication often results in emotional breakdown or some other form of aggression or estrangement. If you dread the idea of starting a normal conversation with your wife or husband, it’s possible that you or both of you are suffering from the effects of damaged communication. Damaged communication can drain the very lifeblood of a relationship until both parties feel like dry, lifeless husks. A formerly loving relationship can lose all meaning if one or both parties stop communicating. Why does damaged communication occur? In the world of married couples, harmony is everything. When the natural harmony of two ...