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The Peaceful Path to Anger Management, Part 2

What strategies can you use so that your anger will no longer harm your marriage?

Being chronically angry at your spouse will ultimately damage the relationship to the point where one or both parties will no longer find the marriage sustainable.

If you feel the exact same way about your marriage because you are unable to manage your anger properly, it’s time that you did something about it.

You don’t have to let anger rule your marriage anymore!

Anger Control Strategies

Why do we get angry at our spouses?

This is the essential question that must be answered in order to make sense of the chaos that ensues when anger does get the better of one or both parties in a marriage. People generally get angry when:

1. They are in an unfair situation.

2. When they feel pressured to do something they don’t want to do.

3. When they feel stressed and they don’t know how to deal with the stress.

4. When there are many unresolved issues in the relationship.

5. When communication has crumbled and no one is interested in making the first move to fix it.

If these problems sound familiar to you, then know that you are like 99% of all individuals who are currently in troubled marriages. You don’t have to feel depressed anymore because you can definitely start managing your anger today.

How can you stop destructive anger before it causes more damage?

Here are some expert tips to get you started:

1. Value Yourself and Learn to Say No

Do you have to be “available” all the time in a marriage?

There is a general misconception that in order to be supportive of a marriage, you have to be available 100% of the time.

While this may sound sweet and idealistic, it’s actually a toxic ideal because it is not humanely possible to be available to think, speak and act for someone else 100% of the time.

If you try to stretch yourself thin just to fit into this idealistic mold, you will find yourself being angry with your spouse all the time.

Why? Because being too available can be an exhausting ordeal. Imagine being an “on call” professional who is expected to respond to every known situation from a broken TV to family-related heartaches.

When you feel that you can no longer keep up with your current responsibilities and you can’t take any more pressure and stress, just say no. I know that this can be quite difficult because saying no seems like a very mean thing to do to one’s spouse.

However, if you want to tone down your anger peacefully, you need to address the most common triggers of this emotion. And one of these major triggers is being forced to do something that you can no longer fulfill because you’re already overwhelmed.

2. Practice Assertiveness

What is assertiveness?

Assertiveness isn’t about domination or controlling someone to do your bidding. Assertiveness is being fully confident about yourself and what you believe in so that you can negotiate and communicate with your spouse as an equal and not as a subordinate.

This is an exceedingly common problem that I see in relationships where one party is more confident about himself than the other.

Being the confident one in the relationship may mean that during negotiations, one party will automatically acquiesce to whatever the confident one is saying.

If you find yourself constantly agreeing with your spouse even if you don’t really agree with him/her, you lack self-confidence. You have to make a conscious effort to assert your wants and needs in a way that you can hold your ground during a negotiation.

3. Acceptance

How can acceptance help end rageand anger?

There are just some things in life that you can’t change and you just have to accept these things if you want a more peaceful life and relationship with your spouse.

There are two ways that you can accomplish full acceptance of a situation: first, you can make the most of the situation and accept it as a part of your life from now on.

Second, you can continue to find solutions to the problems you’re facing so you will gain satisfaction from the positive outcomes of your continuing efforts.


Acceptance is actually the final phase of actualization in a relationship. It’s also a sign that you are a psychologically and emotionally mature person.
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